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PROBLEMS Fifth Problem: dealing with feelings

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Problems

Fandom: Teen Titans
Pairing: BB/Rob
By: CuzIzHot


Fifth Problem: dealing with feelings and ice cream.

I can't tell you how tired and worn out I feel right now. Actually, sleeping is supposed to make it better, not worse. But somehow not even that goes as planned. It's like I have been run over by a truck or something. With a groan I lift one heavy arm and rub my eyes. My neck is still aching like hell, I'm telling you. And I'm sore all over; again. This seems to become a habit for me lately. But the quite comfortable bed I'm currently lying in makes the whole situation a tiny bit better. I can't remember having a bed this comfy. But then again it feels very unfamiliar, and it strangely smells like one of my team mates; so it obviously isn't mine. This should probably have me worried a bit, but I honestly don't feel like thinking much right now. So I just keep my eyes closed and clutch the pillow tighter. Continue sleeping sounds like an amazing idea right now, so I do just that. Or at least try to, because I'm rudely interrupted by a very annoying voice. "Finally awake? Lovely." Said voice belongs to my pretty pissed off team leader who is walking into the room. What is he doing here? Can't I have a bit of peace and privacy for once? Grumpily I crack one eye open to glare at him, hoping that would make him disappear. It doesn't; needless to say.
"Go away, Robin. I feel worse than ever so just leave me be." My voice has thankfully returned back to normal, so the monster didn't do any damage to my vocal cords. With my eyes closed again I can still feel his scolding gaze on me but I make no move to acknowledge it. Why does he have to be such a jerk at times? I just want to sleep; isn't that understandable after the last 24 hours? Well, to me it is. But Robin apparently doesn't need any sleep. Mr. Perfect needs nothing at all it seems. After a moment of silence I hear him sigh.
"You're lucky I still have to apologize for yesterday. Otherwise I would have kicked you out of here the second you shoved me out of my own damn bed."
It takes my brain a few seconds to comprehend this information. His bed? So, currently I'm in Robin's room? Correction; Robin’s room and his bed? Well, I can't deny that I kinda like the idea, but maybe not under those circumstances. And not with him staring at me angrily. But compared to what I did he seems to be pretty calm. I'm lucky I ran off yesterday after his ridiculous little speech; probably gave him a nice guilt trip for constantly making me cry or run off. Or maybe Cy was just pissed that I wouldn't spend the afternoon gaming with him and gave Robin a piece of his mind. Whatever it was that made him want to apologize, I'm very thankful for it.
Finally opening my eyes I sit up; still in my uniform. Yeah, I never changed into something more comfortable, whatever. And let me tell you, my whole body hurts when I get up. Boy, this tentacle thing really did it for me. I feel worse than after most fights with villains. I will never, ever come close to any meal Starfire made again. Promise.
Sheepishly rubbing my neck I finally meet the boy wonders eyes. Or rather his mask, for that matter. "So, uhm… apology accepted?" I offer with a half-smile. Apparently he's in a good mood today; just shaking his head weakly and turning around. "Whatever, just get up and get some breakfast. Star is worried sick about you." So he will not kill me or kick my ass for dumping him on his bedroom floor last night? That's a good sign, isn't it? I'm fairly sure it is. So he has to like me; and he allowed me to spend the night in his room. Yeah, not really, but who cares? I did spend the night after all, even if I kind of invited myself but whatever.
Carefully stretching my sore muscles I drag my heavy body out of the room. Robin is silent while we walk; I'm still a bit behind him just in case he decides to changes his mind about being civil for once. Thankfully he doesn't. Looks like I'm off the hook for now.
The second I enter the kitchen I have Starfire attached to me, clinging to my body for dear life. And it's not a pleasant hug, I'm telling you. More like I'm-gonna-crush-every-bone-in-your- body kind of hug. But she lets go soon enough and I assure her that I'm not mad. If she agrees to clean my room, that is. Yeah, I'm a lazy bitch, I know. But can you blame me? It's her tentacle – thingy after all.
She nods happily, a huge smile on her face. "Sure, I shall attend the cleaning for you, friend Beast Boy!" After that she's off to scrape the remaining monster-goo from my bathroom walls. So I successfully found a way to avoid the cleaning. This morning just got a real lot better. And Cyborg even made some decent vegetarian breakfast for me; nice. He apologizes for not being able to help sooner, too. Looks like my team mates feel kinda bad for me, all bruised and what not. And I sure as hell won't tell them that it's not that bad. Maybe I should get almost killed more often; makes people act much nicer towards you; I'm telling you. Except Raven, of course; she looks like she couldn't care less. Yeah, I didn't think it would be any different, to be honest. She just isn't the most social witch girl. Nothing I couldn't deal with, I guess. So I just ignore her for now and sit down, ready to devour every tiny bit of my breakfast. Did I mention that I'm about to starve? No? Well, I am.
An uneventful few hours later I sit on the couch, bored again. Robin actually decided to let the little incident from this morning slip. So no scolding for me today. Which is generally a good thing. But Cyborg isn't playing games with me either and Raven is wherever, doing whatever she usually does. Star is still scrubbing slime off the tiles I guess. So, with no leader to lecture me and no robot to kick virtual butts, what's left to do, really? I still feel relatively bad, like a sack of mashed potatoes or something, and any kind of distraction from it would be nice. So, please, someone, do something goddamn interesting! Is that asking too much? Not even any villains out today? Nothing? Ugh.
The person to answer my unspoken prayer is a certain alien princess, floating into the living room. Apparently she's done with the cleaning and she looks cheery enough again. How she can recover from Robin's I'm-so-disappointed-in-you speech that fast is beyond me. For me it takes hours lately to get over his stupid jerk – mode lectures. Yeah, I guess you already noticed that when I was bawling my eyes out like some girl. Back to the topic.
The long haired girl stops in front of our leader who is currently busy with some kind of device, probably keeping track of some villain or what not. "Robin! You shall look at this!" She is waving a colorful piece of paper around, her voice high pitched. Our boy wonder turns around to face her, dropping the device on a nearby table. "What is it, Star?" I turn around, too; watching them out of the corner of my eye. Not that I'm really interested, but anything is better than sitting here.
"I found this most joyous invitation to the parlor of ice cream! Could we perhaps go there? Please!" Her big bright eyes have that begging look; you know, the one no boy can say no to. It never works when I try to do it, at least not on Robin. With Star it's a different story. Guess life isn't fair when you're not a hot chick from outer space. But I already figured that out yesterday, didn't I? So I just watch him for his reaction. First he just takes the advertisement out of Star's wildly waving hands, mildly interested.
"Actually, Star, we have to train for the-…" And there she goes; grabbing one of his hands, pouting cutely and batting her lashes. "Please?" I'm not sure if she does that on purpose or not. Poor Robin doesn't have a chance; she's using all of her girl weapons at once. And it works, I'm telling you. I just roll my eyes when he sighs and finally nods. "Yeah, okay. I guess it wouldn't hurt if we-" Again he's unable to finish his sentence because Starfire is already bouncing on her heels, squealing. Now I'm the one who is disappointed, Robin. Is it really that easy to manipulate you if it's a girl with long shiny hair and full pouting lips? Honestly; guys. All the same idiots. I somehow miss the rest of their talk because I'm busy thinking like some jealous high-school chick. I will blame the hormones for that as well. I know, not nice to blame everything on one thing. But it's not like they could fight back, haha. Wow, that joke was lame; even for me.
A hand on my shoulder pulls me out of my thoughts. "You look bored to death. Want to tag along?" That's Robin, actually asking me to go eat ice cream with him. And Star, but you can leave that detail out, if you want. I nod my agreement in record speed. "Dude, anything to get out of here!" And with that I'm up and out the room. Robin doesn't look too pleased that I'm so eager to get away from work. But I couldn't care less; I have more important stuff to worry about. Namely getting a change of clothes; something that hides the green skin and pointy ears. And the strangle marks. Yeah, definitely the strangle marks.
The walk doesn't take that long and the weather is quite decent today, so ice cream sounds like a good idea to me. After walking into the wrong direction for ten minutes I take the flyer leading to that store out of Star's hands. The rest isn't a problem anymore. She might be pretty and nice and all, but she certainly can't read even the simplest of maps. Guess even a princess from space does have some minor flaws.
So now we're sitting in a cozy little ice cream parlor somewhere in town, everything around us colored in reds and pinks. I honestly hate it. All the friendly little hearts and flowers on the walls and windows and the plush seats. But our alien princess seems to be quite pleased with the interior. I feel like puking now and then. Seriously, whoever designed this should be beaten up badly. I muster a few fake flowers with little plastic bees attached to them. The insects have giant eyes and smile stupidly. Yeah, maybe he should be beaten up badly and be forced to eat his horrible fake flowers and bees afterwards. Seriously, this place makes me a tad bit aggressive. No idea why.
My team mates seem quite content with everything. Star is busy fawning over the lovely strawberries and all the delicious frosted water, Robin listening to her with a smile. Yeah, and me? I sit on my bench, the table between me and them, staring gloomily at my ice and poking it now and then. Why did Robin have to sit next to Star, huh? They look like a damn couple now, and that's what everybody in this stupid café thinks as well. Some old granny even babbled something about `young love' when she walked by. Peachy. And I'm the third wheel on the truck, sitting on the bench opposite of them with the hood of my hoodie pulled above my head. Yeah, I take back everything I said, being stuck inside the tower isn't that bad after all. At least I don't have to watch this constant flirting there. Star really goes for it, that girl must have it bad for our leader. Nothing I didn't know by now, honestly.
With them pretty much ignoring me I just tune their voices out. It's not like I'm part of the conversation anyways. And the minutes tick by.
Still poking my frozen treat now and then I watch Robin from under my hood. He really would make the perfect boyfriend for Star, wouldn't he? Always listening to her, smiling at her like that. As much as I hate it, but I'm starting to see what all the others see. I mean, let's get real here; why would he choose me over her? I can't come up with a single reason. Well, I can read maps better than her. Wow, now he will surely want to date me so bad. It's ridiculous. I can't compete with her, in nothing. Not the kind attitude, the caring and sweet personality, nor her gorgeous looks. Certainly not with her looks. I mean, she's the alien here, and I'm the one who's green. If that isn't unfair I don't know what. Not sure when this happened, but I feel really, really down right now. And she constantly scoots closer to him, touching his arm now and then. Why, exactly, did I decide that coming along was a good idea? It wasn't. It was the farthest thing from one.
While I sit there and sulk in my bench I unconsciously listen to the random song from the radio speakers somewhere behind me. Some cheesy girl – voice; just as annoying as the rest of this stupid café.–darling, you're my best friend- Somehow I can't help but look up and watch Robin. Even if he is busy with Star and totally ignores me. –but there's a few things that you don't know about- He's chuckling at one of Star's jokes, not noticing that my gaze is locked on him. And believe me; I'm very grateful for that. –why I borrow your stuff so often- Somehow, I'm also very glad for the hood hiding my face. –I'm using your shirt as a pillow case- Maybe I should stop staring at him and instead eat my ice cream. But I guess it's totally molten by now anyways. –I wanna ruin our friendship- It's ridiculous, really, but Robin looks more than handsome like this. Even with his stupid mask. My hands still clutch the glass bowl with the molten ice in front of me for a lack of anything else to do. I must look totally stupid right now. - we should be lovers instead- I have no idea why I'm blushing right now. But my brain isn't responding with a decent answer. Actually, it's not responding at all. –I don't know how to say this- Finally releasing the bowl I lift my hands to pull the hood deeper into my face. Ready to tear my eyes away from Robin for good to stop the damn blushing. And just in that moment he looks up, smiling at me. – 'cause you're really my dearest friend-
I didn't know I was capable of getting up this fast. But I did and left the ice cream parlor in record speed. I honestly have no idea why for the love of everything I did this just now. I mean, I stared at Robin like a love sick schoolgirl and then almost ran out of the shop. What the hell is wrong with me?! A lot of things, yeah. That much is obvious. But the annoying song really wasn't helping, at all. And now I think it is stuck in my already messed up brain. And said messed up brain actually likes the idea. But it's not gonna happen; ever. He has Star; pretty, nice, caring Star. And she obviously loves him. Perfect love story, perfect couple, perfect fucking everything. And definitely no room in that fairytale for me. Well, unless you need some weird freaky monster to be the bad guy.
Burying my head in my hands I sit down on the stone steps in front of the café. I bet they think I'm retarded now. Or hit my head real hard. Or both; who knows? Why do feelings have to be so complicated? Why can't it just be simple and easy? Or at least go away after some time?! That would be nice for once; my stupid head just accepting the fact that it's not gonna happen. But no; wouldn't make it complicated enough. Why can't I just be happy for them to get along so well and get over it?! Why do I have to be so horribly jealous?!
Screw it; really. Being a teenager sucks; hard. And so do feelings. Who even came up with this crap, hm? I'd like to know so I can go back in time and kill him before he does.
Not that my rambling makes any sense. Nothing I do does, really. And that's the point of feelings, isn't it? They make you do all kinds of stupid crap and stuff. They fill your head with cotton candy and they make you act like a total idiot all the time. And hormones are even worse; because they make you blush while you act like an idiot. And they both work together to make you feel as miserable as possible after you made a blushing idiot out of yourself. And then? Then they abandon you to sit one some dumb staircase in front of a horribly colorful ice cream café! And everybody who walks by will stare at you sitting there because you look like some crying girl. Again. And I'm not even crying, damn it! Not jet. Sometimes I really hate myself for acting the way I do. And again, I will blame the hormones for it. And the feelings. Maybe I should just go back to the tower and fake sickness? Would be a decent excuse to why I left them. Or maybe they don't even notice I'm gone. They were so busy being completely engrossed in each other; probably doesn't make a difference if I'm there or not. Yeah, guess it doesn't.
"So, there's anything you'd like to talk about?" Right now I only want to sit here and be depressed, thank you for asking. Face still buried in my arms I weakly shake my head. Why does he even have to follow me? Geeze, the only time I don't want him around and he has to come after me. So much for my pretty little excuse and my plan to simply go back to the tower. And again I act like some stupid child around him; running away from my problems. Great; really. Maybe he will just leave if I ignore him? But knowing my luck…
Robin sits down next to me; sighing. And I continue to hide under my hood and stare at my knees. I don't think I want to talk to him right now. But he, being the perfect friend and leader he is, won't leave me alone to sulk. After a few minutes of silence he talks again; his voice an edge softer than usually. "Hey, wanna ditch Star and do something more fun?" I blink my eyes a couple of times; face still hidden in the fabric of my hoodie. Did I just hear him correct or am I having some weird hallucinations? "Huh?" Yeah, smart response. Congratulations, BB. He doesn't seem to mind my stupidity, just shrugs. "I'll just take that as a `yes`." And with that he's standing already, stretching his arms above his head. "Well, come on." A gloved hand is offered to me and my wrecked up mind barely manages to register the gesture. Come with him? But what happened to him and Star being the perfect little couple just a minute ago? I steal a glance back to the building behind me, feeling a bit guilty for Starfire. I want to tell him that we shouldn't just ditch her. But the more selfish part of my brain is quicker to react then my mouth and I reach for his hand.
~~~tbc.
I'm starting to feel sorry for Starfire, but don't worry, she will get over it. Probably won't even notice she's alone when she has a ton of ice cream.
I haven't figured out how I want to start the next
Chapter jet. So any ideas are greatly appreciated!
Any suggestions to where they could be going? Lemme know; the sooner I find a location I like the sooner there will be a new chapter!

The song used was “Jenny” By Studio Killers. <3
~Shad.
Here we go with my first FF here on DA! :D

summary

My name is Beastboy, I just turned seventeen and have to deal with being a teenaged superhero – changeling, who obviously has a thing for his leader and boy wonder robin and should really question his sexuality. So, yeah, I do think I have a lot of problems right now without much hope for solving a single one. Just peachy, isn't it? -BB/Rob-


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Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor :meow:
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